How to Be Positive Without Being in Denial

Find your Locus of Control

Photo by Etienne Girardet on Unsplash

I am a negative person, or so I’ve been told.

I have a tendency to see the danger, the flaws, and the inconsistency in everything.

I guess you can call me skeptical.

Some of it it’s based on fear and cynicism but some it’s based on past experiences and reflections.

But also I can be very positive. I can see potential, possibilities, and hope, in people and systems.

How come I am positive and negative at the same time?

Locus of control

Locus of control is the degree to which we believe we have control over our lives. An internal locus of control means that we believe events in our lives derive from our own actions.

At the other end of the spectrum, a person with an external locus of control thinks that most events in life are outside their power, shit happens and there is no point in doing anything about it other than complain.

I have a strong internal locus of control. I am convinced that everything that’s happened to me in life, good and bad, is down to me, my thinking and my actions ( or lack of thereof)

I’ve never blamed the economy, the government, the media, big corporations, or my upbringing for anything. I’m positive that blaming external events is sore loser excuses.

Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% of how you react to it

Having said that, I’ve been very fortunate. If you got a raw deal in life like child abuse, poverty, lack of education, poor health, or mental problems, then it’s going to be a lot harder to overcome those obstacles and still win.

But if you’ve had a normal life so far, then there are no excuses. It’s all down to you.

You can achieve anything you want if you play your cards right. Even if you screw up badly in the past, even if you have wasted a lot of time, even if you think you are not ready, and even if you don’t believe in yourself.

Positive vs negative

I am very positive about the events I can control but often negative about events outside my control.

Right now, in the middle of the Corona crisis, I am pretty sure I am about to lose my job (outside of my control) so I’ve been label as negative by my coworkers.

However, I am very positive about the fact that, whatever happens, I will land on my feet. I’m going to react positively to this event and make the most of it… and so should you.

Don’t be a child, don’t moan about the government, or expect some outside rescue. Be a man (or a woman) and write your own destiny.

The system is rigged — banks, politicians, big pharma, even some charities — but, it’s the same for everyone, it’s a level playing field. If others can succeed in this scenario so can you. Don’t get busy building a narrative about why it can’t be done, about life being unfair or some other bullshit.

Right now everybody is worried about the virus. I am not.

I’m healthy, I eat properly, exercise, and meditate every day. Even if I get the virus, I’ll spend a couple of weeks in bed and then back to normal.

I realize that I am lucky enough to have a strong immune system, but the rest is down to me. A healthy lifestyle and an absolute faith in my body to fight disease. You can call it placebo effect but it works.

Caveat. I respect the quarantine out of solidarity. Being a carrier would be irresponsible.

Another thing. Most people really worry about the aftermath — recession, job losses, mortgage payments, etc. I am not.

I’m certain that there are going to be huge opportunities, not only to make a living but also to thrive doing something more fulfilling and with better prospects.

How to develop an internal locus of control

First, you must realize that everything that has happened to you was heavily influenced by your attitude, your actions, and your outlook in life. Change your attitude and you will change the outcome.

Second, you must realize (and be grateful) that you’ve been very lucky in life so far. If you are reading this you have internet access, you speak English and you are capable enough to pursue any goals in life. The rest is up to you.

Third, you need to realize that unless you overcome your fears, silence your ego, take risks, and are willing to make mistakes nothing is going to happen.

Fourth, you must realize that time is running out. Regardless of how old you are now there is no time to waste. You don’t know when this is over so live every day like it was your last.

You are here for a reason. Don’t go to the grave without having played your symphony.

It’s now… or never. Your choice.

Student of life. Trying to make sense of it all, be happy and help others achieve their dreams. Join me at:

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