Is It Really ‘Never Too Late’ To Follow Your Dreams?
Deciding When to Stay and When to Quit
You’ve heard the old adage before: it’s never too late to learn/do/achieve what you always wanted to do, but is it actually true? Is it never too late? Is it worth struggling for years to achieve something that should have been done before and might not pay any dividends now?
Well-intentioned people often refer to the above aphorism to defend the idea that starting late is not a problem as long as you take action and apply yourself. You didn’t learn Chinese as a kid? No problem, just join some evening classes and soon you’ll be ordering Dim Sum in your local Szechuan.
Late is better than never but let’s not ignore the fact that some skills can only be acquired early or not at all. The well-meant platitudes are fine and dandy providing you understand the limitations and the caveats of being a late bloomer.
We are just mere mortals and deteriorate physically and mentally as we age so there are some considerations to be made before dropping everything and joining the circus at middle age.
For most things in life, early is better than late especially when acquiring a new skill. If you are a proficient guitarist at the age of 20, you will have more opportunities, fun, and projection than if you start at 40, no question. Not only you will develop a deeper understanding of the subject but also you’ll have more time to enjoy it and reap the rewards.
The better late philosophy can be misleading and make you waste precious time that could be put to better use elsewhere. Let’s explore some examples from my own experience.
1. Play an Instrument
Playing music is a great skill to have. Not only provides lots of fun and entertainment but also requires a combination of several micro-skills that are a great workout for the mind and body. Creativity, rhythm, pitch, composition, dexterity, coordination, and many more are just some of the abilities you will enhance when mastering an instrument.
But is it worth trying out later in life?
Learning music as an adult sucks. The frustration, the endless mistakes, the embarrassment, the humiliation. Seeing kids outperform you 10 to 1 at any given task destroys your confidence and sends you to a dark place of commiseration and defeat. Platitudes and encouragement from your teacher won’t cut it either: you are doing well… considering.
Learning to play the piano at 5 is hard, at 35, it is a fricking nightmare.
However, if this is what you want, are willing to pay the price, and keep in mind you will never be great, then, you should go for it. Very few things will stretch your capabilities like playing an instrument even if you are just mediocre.
Nothing easy is worth pursuing.
2. Language Learning
Again, a piece of cake as a child, bloody hard as an adult.
However, this is one of the few skills that can be acquired to a proficiency level as an adult. Granted you need time, determination, stamina, and motivation but given this, you could become fluent in Hungarian in just a few years.
3. Sports
Soccer, cycling, or taekwondo can be learned later in life but with obvious limitations due to the natural process of aging.
After forty, you are not going to win any medals, become a pro, or even compete with the kids but you can still keep fit and have fun.
Being active throughout life is a great way to stay young and learning new techniques can also bring mental health benefits.
If you fancy trying out a new discipline you should go for it provided you understand the risks and limitations.
4. Writing
If you like to read, you’d love to write. Most people would benefit from expressing their ideas and creativity through the written word.
Being able to communicate through beautiful prose, create something from scratch, and leave a book or a bunch of articles out there for the world is a great achievement and a form of immortality. If you are this way inclined you should give it a go.
Writing is probably the easiest skill to acquire later in life and still manage to be decent. That’s exactly what I did and you are reading the result. I hope I’m not being cocky here.
5. Coding
If you are a bit nerdy but never quite managed to find the time to learn coding, this is your second chance.
Anything is possible and now, more than ever, the training can be found for free on multiple websites and other sources. However, programming requires a level of strategic thinking, attention to detail, concentration, and stamina that is easier to find at 20 rather than at 45.
As a hobby, coding can be learned to a decent level but it’s harder to make a living out of it if you start late.
If you can’t manage to talk yourself out of it, by all means, do it. You won’t launch the next Microsoft but you’ll get to solve many challenges and keep your mind sharp in the process.
6. Meditation
This is a skill where the mature can perform better than the youth.
Only those who have seen it all and live to tell the tale have gathered the acumen and the serenity to empty the mind and achieve inner peace.
If you are middle-aged and never tried, have a go and if you persist it will provide many unexpected benefits.
7. Entrepreneurship
On one hand, maturity should make you a better entrepreneur. On the other, younger people are more keen to take risks and make mistakes to launch a project and see it through.
With age comes experience, organization, people skills, and realistic expectations. All these traits are great but insufficient when venturing into the cutthroat business jungle.
To be a successful entrepreneur you need hunger more than anything else and that kind of desire usually mellows down with age.
You can always try at a small scale and see what sticks. Anything could be learned but, there is a reason why you haven’t attempted it yet, and here lays the clue to knowing yourself and what you are made of.
8. Investing
To become a successful investor you need wisdom, money, and time. At middle age, you hopefully have the first two but time is not on your side.
Investing is a long game in which you make bets and then wait for decades to see results. The young are usually too impulsive and want to keep shifting and trading their way to riches. They have the time but no wisdom. You have the wisdom but no time.
As Warren Buffett says, time in the markets is more important than timing the market. Patience is the key here. Learning the skill is relatively easy at any age but maintaining the discipline to stay put and avoid emotional decisions is critical.
Conclusion
I have myself attempted all the above after the tender age of 40 with mixed results. Let me summarize my learning in each subject.
Music
I’m quite pleased with my progress with the instrument and now I can confidently join a jam session and perform in public while having fun. However, I’m aware of my limitations and realize that I can never be a true pro or even improvise like they do.
Language
I learned English at 22 and so far so good but with my next attempt (Japanese) the results have been mediocre.
Granted, there is only me to blame but somehow life got in the way and the hundreds of hours spent memorizing Kanji now seem a bit of a waste.
Sports
I’ve managed to become a proficient cyclist despite my late start. I can compete with people my age even though some of them have been training forever. Mind you, endurance sports are more suitable for the not-so-young. I’m quite happy with my performance and plan to continue to practice well into my 60s.
Coding
I can code…ish but I lack the stamina and concentration to take on big projects. I enjoy small challenges that can be solved with a few lines of code. I don’t think it’ll improve much more since the motivation to endure is not really there. Besides, there is AI now solving problems by itself and making people redundant.
Meditation
Although I should be mature enough to perform well in this field I still find it harder to stay still and empty my mind. I’m not sure if I have actually achieved much progress since this is hard to measure. I still do it and I suppose it’s bringing some benefits but it would be nice to see the goal more clearly.
Entrepreneurship
I’ve had mixed results in this field but I’m not done yet. Ask me again in 20 years.
Investing
Here I can claim a certain level of moderate success after many previous failures and despite a late start. Of course one never knows what’s around the corner, we live in turbulent times and a black swan is always in the cards. We’ll see.
Writing
This article is the result of writing consistently for 5 years. Not my finest piece but…
Final words
I hope I haven’t discouraged you from pursuing your dreams, I just wanted to be realistic about expectations when taking up a new challenge.
The mature learner is a different person from the eager youngster and the methods, goals, and pace should reflect this. Do not try to approach a subject as if you were 18, different stages require different paths. Your former self died years ago and now a new you is taking over. Be gentle with yourself.
Despite all the caveats is worth learning new skills at any age. If nothing else it’s a great workout for the mind and body and this will keep you young until you turn the last page.
Playing chess, trekking, or learning CSS has to be better than lying on the sofa all day watching garbage and drinking beer.
Perhaps you’ll never achieve your goal, perhaps you will fail, perhaps you will quit but regardless, trying is always better than shying away and taking the easy path.
The best moment to plant a tree was 20 years ago, the second best time is now
All the best in your endeavors. Let me know how it goes.
